Send 4 words that sound nice when spoken, but not in email

Send 4 words that sound nice when spoken, but not in email By Will Schwalbe Some of the most polite things people say can take on a totally different character when you write them in an email or in an IM or text message. Here are some examples. 1. Please We are taught from an early age to say please when we ask for things. Can I have some milk doesnt, in most houses, get milk to the requester. It has to be, Please, can I have some milk. (In the home of an English teacher, it would need to be, Please, may I have some milk, but thats another matter). So we are conditioned to believe that please is a polite word. And it can be, when its said politely. But its also often used in a preemptory, scolding, or sarcastic tone. Please remember usually has the implication of, Youve been told this before. Why cant you remember? Is it so hard? The same goes for Please make sure to. or Please dont forget or, basically, the word please with any command other than something obviously and overwhelmingly positive like be my guest or help yourself or stay as long as you like. Curiously, in the very informal research my co-author David Shipley and I conducted, we found that the abbreviation pls doesnt carry this scolding tone. But, as with all abbreviations, its clearly more appropriate for casual communication. 2. Okay and fine These usually sound upbeat in speech but deflating in print. We live in a culture of hyperbole, and both words have suffered from it. In email, great equals fine and good equals okay. So its a good idea to make the substitution if you dont want to disappoint. This is especially true when the words appear alone. If you write someone a long and detailed proposal and get back one word, and that word is fine or okay, it appears to be anything but. And who can forget the immortal phrase Fine, ferget it, from the Travolta/Winger classic Urban Cowboy? The exasperated way it was said is exactly how it looks on a screen. 3. Thank you The problem with thank you comes not when you use it after someone has done something for you, but when you use it before the person has done the thing. When you thank someone in advance, its really a command disguised as premature gratitude. So, Thank you for bringing the donuts to the meeting is nice if the meeting has occurred and the donuts were brought. But its galling to be thanked if the meeting is yet to take place, and really infuriating if the meeting has taken place and you were supposed to bring the donuts and forgot. Then its pure sarcasm. Will Schwalbe is the co-author with David Shipley of Send: The Essential Guide to Email for Office and Home.